About Ambar Paloma
It flowed out of me like a story I was always meant to tell.
When I was 19 years old, I wanted to die. I spent the majority of my days crying and wishing my life would end. I felt like a burden and that my life wasn’t worth living. I was battling such crippling depression and social anxiety, I wouldn’t leave my bedroom for weeks at a time and was thinking of dropping out of university.
One day, I finally decided to go get help at my university’s counseling and wellness center. It took me years to unpack everything from my childhood, unlearn all the habits that were holding me back, and find my joy and inner strength.
I still remember being 19 years old sitting in a therapist’s office for the first time thinking I don’t know how I will ever make it out of this, I don’t know how I will ever find joy, and I don’t know what kind of life awaits someone like me.
I wish I could tell her how proud I am of her for holding on and fighting through it all. Everything she had been through and all the trials that awaited her still.
I wish I could tell her that she grew up to live an amazing life. I wish I could tell her that not only did she manage to finish her bachelor’s degree, but she went on to finish a master’s degree with honors.
I wish I could tell her that she coordinated volunteer projects all over the nation to help organizations big and small meet their goals for many years.
I wish I could tell her how brave she was to leave it all behind after another soul-crushing year to pursue a crazy dream of living abroad. I wish I could tell her that she taught English abroad and lived with a local family learning about their customs and traditions.
That not only did she do it once, but she did it twice and built a life beyond her wildest imagination in her second country abroad.
I wish I could tell her that for all the tears she shed, she is now known best for her big heart and even bigger smile. I wish I could tell her that for all the days she spent wishing she would die, she now lives with endless joy and gratitude for life.
I wish I could tell her about all the adventures she had around the globe, all the ways she dared to make her own way, all the ways she dared to cultivate her own joy, and how she looked at trials in the face with a knowing that she will make it through.
I now know she had to go through that, so that I can invite you on a quest to find YOUR inner strength. Thank you for joining me and my 19-year-old self on The Lighthouse Within Podcast With Ambar Paloma.
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